Tired of Winning Yet, China? — The Band Slap Has Some News for You

The Other China

十八梗

 

On their Twitter account the band Slap (@1998slap) describes itself in the following way:

耳光樂隊, formed in 1998. Creators of modern fables, performers of absurdist drama, a counter-current to the mainstream, a group of rogue travellers adrift amongst the lower orders and the minjian realm.

耳光樂隊，1998年成立。現世寓言的創作者，荒誕戲劇的表演者，主流浪潮的逆流者，漂泊底層民間的江湖人。

For twenty five years Slap has navigated a course through the world of the ‘rivers and lakes’ 江湖 jiānghú, the diapositive environment to that of Official China. It is the domain of ‘hooligan’ 流氓 líumáng culture and part of the indestructible and obstreperous underbelly of China (for more on this, see ‘The Apotheosis of the Liumang’ in In the Red, pp.62-98).

[Note: For a song by Slap on the ‘rivers and lakes’, listen to 相忘於江湖。］

Active in the rowdy pub culture of cities throughout China, Slap has for over two decades offered audiences an ongoing commentary on the human condition and society at large. Bristling with literary and pop allusions, their songs also provide some of the most entertaining asides on life in the workplace and the practical politics of interpersonal relations. Their critiques are unapologetic, rhythmic and ribald. Their voice is more raucous and less softly spoken than some of the others that we have featured in The Other China, like those of Liu Chan 劉蟾, Mei Liu’r 梅六兒 and Lao Shu 老樹. Like them, however, the œuvre of Slap amounts to an inventory — 盤點 pán diǎn — of Chinese life. (For some musical highlights from October 2021, see 長沙站精華篇。)

On stage, Zhao Yuepeng 趙越鵬, the folding-fan-wielding lead singer and lyricist of Slap, embodies the winking persona of a socio-political peeping tom. His stage name is Zhao Huangtang 趙荒唐— ‘Zhao the Absurd’ — a nom de plume that, like the songs he writes, reflects what the sociologist Zhou Xiaozheng 周孝正 has called The Four Absurds and Eight Absences 四荒八無 sī huāng bā wú of contemporary China:

四荒: 荒唐、荒誕、荒蕪、荒謬
(The Four Absurds: ridiculous, absurd, vacuous and wrong-headed)

八無: 無知、無能、無情、無義、無道、無德、無恥、無賴。
(The Eight Absences: ignorant, impotent, pitiless, dishonorable, untethered, immoral, shameless and indolent)

Zhao the Absurd is part of a modern tradition that shares a sensibility with the best comic dialogues 相聲 xiàngsheng of recent decades. The masters of the stage, Guo Degang 郭德綱 and Yu Qian 于謙, have long been excoriated for rapid-fire comedy that reflects what the pearl-clutching moralists of the Communist Party describe as ‘Three Kinds of Vulgarity’ 三俗 sān sú — 庸俗 yōng sú, the mediocre、低俗 dī sú, the low-brow and 媚俗 mèi sú, kitsch that panders to the lowest common denominator. (For Guo and Yu’s response to the long-standing accusation ‘I’m Setting Myself Against Vulgarity’ 我要反三俗。) Zhao’s work also shares a lineage with the age-old traditions of ‘story telling’ 說書 shuō shū and the modern genre of ‘behind-the-scenes’ 黑幕 hēimù urbane social commentary. Audiences often use the old expression 針砭時弊 zhēn biān shí bì , ‘to cauterise the ills of society’, to characterise Slap’s message. Among other things, it brings to mind popular works such as Odd Realities Witnessed Over Twenty Years 二十年目睹之怪現狀, one of the famous ‘caustic novels’ 譴責小說 of the late-Qing period.

Below, we introduce a number of songs by Slap followed by an account of ‘Red Child’s Eighteen Wins’ 紅孩十八贏, a work that the band released in January 2023. It is one which has, as China Digital Times reported:

… been attracting much attention lately on Chinese social media and Chinese Twitter. The folk tune combines iconic characters and scenes from the classical Ming Dynasty novel “Journey to the West” with biting satirical commentary on current and recent events in China and the world.

Although China’s ‘culture police’ 文管 wén guǎn are on the prowl, Slap continues to tour.

In this chapter of The Other China we reproduce the report on Slap from China Digital Times with the kind permission of Samuel Wade. We are also grateful to Jing Qian of the Center for China Analysis at the Asia Society Policy Institute in New York for alerting us to this new song by Slap.

The title of this chapter is inspired by a famous line from Donald J. Trump who famously claimed that ‘We’re gonna win so much you may even get tired of winning.’ It’s a familiar boast to anyone who has been subjected to the self-approving claims of China’s party-state. After all, as we have previously noted, the cult-like Republican followers of DJT share much in common with Xi Jinping’s Empire of Tedium. On both sides of the Pacific, self-confidence and self-deception are married to a tireless penchant for braggadocio.

***

The number eighteen — 十八 shíbā — features frequently in Zhao Huangtang’s songs and, over the years, Slap has built up a repertoire of eighteen-themed works and we provide links to the group’s 十八系列 shíbā xìliè below.

Generally, the term 十八 shíbā means ‘many’, or ‘a lot’. ‘Eighteen generations of ancestors’ 祖宗十八代, for instance, features in the Beijing lexicon of curses, and ‘eighteen’ is also used for various traditional ‘listicles’. As part of the rubric of this chapter in The Other China we combine it with 梗 gěng (from 哏 gén) — gag, quip, pun or punch line.

***

In mid August 2013, the authorities issued a comprehensive ban on ‘Slap’ (see below for details).

— Geremie R. Barmé
Editor, China Heritage
14 June 2023

***

Media Reports:

Slap online:

Selected songs by Slap on YouTube:

耳光十八系列 (a partial list)

 

 

 

Miscellaneous Works

***

Update, 14 August 2023

Carry out a comprehensive cleanup of all content related to the band “Slap” (delete encyclopedia entries, search terms, videos, lyrics, and promotional content; delete topics and hashtags, shut down Baidu Tieba “topic bars,” and remove all related merchandise) and their songs (including “Red Child’s Eighteen Wins,” “The Eighteen Dark Arts of Master Bao,” “The Eighteen Generations of Uncle Pan,” “The Eighteen Hexagrams of Boss Bei,” “The Eighteen Prohibitions of Director Ma,” “The Eighteen Verses of Director Lang,” etc.) Content that exposes and criticizes [the band or their songs] will be allowed to remain online. (August 14, 2023) [Chinese]

— China Digital Times

***

A Slap Sampler

Geremie R. Barmé

Elsewhere in China Heritage we have introduced songs by Lo Tayu (Particular Pedantry), Cui Jian (It’s My Duty), Li Zhi (They’re Afraid) and Peng Lei (Xi Jinping’s Harvest)

The allusion-laden world of Slap will be familiar to students of New Sinology, the study of contemporary China that encourages a holistic appreciation of the living traditions of literature, history and thought 文史哲 wén shǐ zhé. While being alert to the crucial importance of mainstream politics and economics, New Sinology embraces China’s languages, ideas and history, the interconnectedness of a living past lives with the present that allows for an entrée to a Chinese multiverse far larger in scope than that covered by the narrow interests of business, government and the discipline-bound academy. This Chinese world long pre-dated the present moment and it will continue to thrive long after the Sturm und Drang of today has passed.

The music of Slap is an object lesson in New Sinology.

The following songs, the videos of which include Chinese subtitles, are easily accessible and offer a taste of the variety and style of Zhao Huangtang and Slap.

Pucker Up

In the orient you’ll find Arse-Bandit Mountain 爆菊山 bào jú shān (or Mount Butt-fuck), the theme of which is ‘The Soap Song’ 肥皂 féizào zhī gē. One can interpret Mt. Butt-fuck to mean a place where everyone is screwed over and Slap often refers to it as their home. For more on this, see ‘The Legend of Mt. B-F’ 爆菊山傳說 below.

Slap 耳光樂隊 ěrguāng yuèduì, a minstrel rock group from Baoding, Hebei province, has been singing about this mysterious land for decades.

[Note: 菊 jú, ‘chrysanthemum’, is a slang term for rosebud, bussy or anus. 爆菊 bào jú means anal rape, buggery or rough anal sex. 撿肥皂 jiǎn féizào, ‘pick up the soap’, is synonymous with 爆菊花 bào jú huā, literally ‘destroy a chrysanthemum’.]

It goes like this:

啊同志你是個人啊你還是個妖
無論你是人是妖    還是個人妖
如果你的三觀毀掉找不到節操
請你快彎下腰跟我一起撿肥皂
看那菊花多麼美妙到處是節操
男女老少大家一起撿啊撿肥皂

Comrade dearest, listen up: whether you’re a person or monster
Or even if you’re somewhere between the two
If you’ve lost all virtue and your Three Views are a mess
Hurry up and bend over like me and just pick up the soap
Then you’ll appreciate the beguiling beauty of the rose bud and virtues aplenty
Men and women of all ages come on, then:
Bend over like me now, and pick up the soap!

Pucker up!

[Note: 三觀 sān guān, ‘the three views’: the individual’s worldview, approach to life and values 世界觀、人生觀、價值觀. For more on Legends of Mt. Butt-fuck, see: 爆菊山傳奇三部曲]

***

The Legend of Mt. Butt-fuck — A History of Modern China

爆菊山傳說

A story told through three flowers:

[Note: The official flower of the Manchu-Qing empire was the peony; the plum blossom was the emblem of the Republic of China; and, as for the chrysanthemum, after 1949 … .]

***

Perspective on a Bizarro Land

看奇葩國

A tongue-in-cheek paean to the Kim dynasty of North Korea:

***

Farewell to the God of Plague

送瘟神

[Note: ‘Farewell to the God of Plague’, 送瘟神 sòng wēn shén, is also the title of a poem by Mao Zedong dated 1 July 1958.]

***

What Role Do You Expect Me to Play?

夜深沉

***

Just Take a Look at You

你又在世界中心呼喚愛

A song about a particular kind of egomania:

‘You always deflect doubts and questions by using that big placard of yours that reads: I’m always correct!’ 你不容疑猜，又不容辯白，高舉永遠正確的招牌……

***

[Note: The song Outsize Ambition 鴻鵠志 hónghù zhì ends with the verse:

Your grand ambitions, all those great plans
Like the crazy hopeful poetry of youth
Then you thought you were real special
Now after work you disappear in the crowd
You fade slowly in every glass of the booze
Are enveloped in the sheets you sleep in
And are eaten up for the money you earn
You gradually dissolve in the vortex of reality
La-la-la

鴻鵠志你的鴻鵠之志
像一首年少輕狂的詩
那曾經自命不凡的日子
在上下班的人流中慢慢消失
在你的酒杯中慢慢消失
在你的床單上慢慢消失
在你的工資里慢慢消失
在現實的旋渦中慢慢消失
啦啦啦

For a performance of Outsize Ambition, see here; and for the lyrics, see here.]

Immortal at the River — a poetic interlude

Yang Shen 楊慎

臨江仙·滾滾長江東逝水

 

滾滾長江東逝水，浪花淘盡英雄。
是非成敗轉頭空。
青山依舊在，幾度夕陽紅。
白髮漁樵江渚上，慣看秋月春風。
一壺濁酒喜相逢。
古今多少事，都付笑談中。

On and on the Great River rolls, bending east away.
Of proud and gallant heroes its white-tops leave no trace,
As right and wrong, pride and fall turn all at once unreal.
Yet ever the green hills stay
To blaze in the west-waning day.
Fishers and woodsmen comb the river isles.
White-crowned, they’ve seen enough of spring and autumn tide
To make good company over the wine jar,
Where many a famed event
Provides their merriment.

— translated by Moss Roberts

Folk-rock Band “Slap”

Melds Ming Dynasty Fiction with

Shrewd Social Satire

China Digital Times

***

***

A performance video of “Red Child’s Eighteen Wins,” a January 2023 song by the folk-rock band Slap (耳光乐队, Erguang Yuedui), has been attracting much attention lately on Chinese social media and Chinese Twitter. The folk tune combines iconic characters and scenes from the classical Ming Dynasty novel “Journey to the West” with biting satirical commentary on current and recent events in China and the world.

The extensive lyrics—detailing 18 so-called “wins”—are chock-full of familiar references to the events of the past several years. There are sly mentions of China’s now-abandoned “dynamic zero-COVID” policy, the mysterious China Eastern Airlines crash, the ongoing Russia-Ukraine war, Nancy Pelosi’s contentious visit to Taiwan, Henan’s rural banking crisis, the “exodus” of disgruntled Foxconn employees, the Guizhou bus crash, the building fire in Urumqi that killed at least 10 people, Peng Lifa’s daring political protest on Beijing’s Sitong Bridge, and the nationwide “White Paper” protests against political repression and excessive COVID controls. Along with well-known fictional characters from “Journey to the West” such as Red Boy (Red Child), Sun Wukong the Monkey King, the monk Tang Sanzang (Tripitaka), and many more, the song is peppered with real-life contemporary characters straight out of the headlines.

[該歌曲列出了中國「動態清零」疫政、谷愛凌爭議、東航墜機、俄烏戰爭、小鎮做題家、二舅、豐縣鐵鍊女、唐山燒烤店毆打女性、北京天通苑居委會「軟肋」、蘭州三歲男童因疫情防控錯過治療去世、鄭州社區書記錯過女兒成人禮、胡鑫宇失蹤案、廣州寶馬衝撞人群、佩洛西訪台、河南村鎮銀行暴雷、富士康員工徒步返鄉、貴州大巴車、烏魯木齊大火、白紙運動等近年來發生在中國的各種事件。]

Some are sympathetic: there is Second Uncle of viral video fame, the mentally ill mother-of-eight who was shackled in Jiangsu, the women who were brutally beaten by gangsters at Tangshan BBQ restaurant, the missing student Hu Xinyu, and the three-year-old boy from Lanzhou who died due to delayed treatment under COVID controls. Others are more clearly cast as villains: the privileged and controversial Olympic skier Eileen Gu, the Tiantongyuan neighborhood committee members who noted that a certain local man’s son was his “weak spot,” the tone-deaf Zhengzhou community secretary Liu Hongying (who, at the height of the pandemic, whined about missing her daughter’s coming-of-age ceremony), and the BMW driver who plowed into a crowd of people in Guangzhou.

Formed in 1998 in Baoding, Hebei province, Slap are a fiercely independent band known for their “new folkloric” (新民俗主义, xin minsu zhuyi) musical stylings and incisive lyrics. Despite being unsigned to any major label, they have performed often in Beijing and other cities, and have toured widely. A recent lineup features lead singer Zhao Yuepeng, guitarists Wang Dong and Zhou Kun, bassist Zhang He, and drummer Nie Bing. The band has written a series of eighteen songs focused around social issues, and these videos are available on YouTube, although some have been banned on major Chinese media platforms. [A selection from this series is given above — Ed.]

The tune “Red Child’s Eighteen Wins” appears to have been censored as well: a Chinese-language search for the band name and song title on Weibo currently yields no results.

CDT has translated portions of the lyrics—and added some explanatory links—from the song in the performance video above.

“Red Child’s Eighteen Wins”

Red Child is sage young princeling
whose real name is Niu Shengying
His parents, the Bull Demon King and Princess Iron Fan,
pampered and spoiled him,
which is why he’s a three-hundred-year-old adolescent
The denizens of Fire Cloud Cave are oft subjected to his wiles
The Gods of Earth and Mountains are accustomed to his pranks
Now everyone’s got Stockholm Syndrome
Red Child suffers from delusions of persecution
In the Child’s world, all he does is win, win, win

(musical interlude)

That year, the monk and his disciples came to Fire Cloud Cave
to save the Gods of Earth and Mountains,
but the Gods weren’t grateful enough
So Red Child threw a fit
and went to war against the Monkey King
You’d better not impede our
“Fire Cloud Cave dynamic zero-COVID” (applause)
The monk and his disciples are lying-flat“bandit vermin”
The God of the Earth said, “If you’re not rich
don’t go around beating folks, pretending you’re Wang Sicong” (applause)
In Fire Cloud Cave, we’ve got our
very own experts to help us win, win, win
Why would we let a foreign monk
like you chant the sutras? (applause)

[…] A fifth win for your social status
a sixth win for your social gaps
Let’s comment on the marvelous work
of those gentlemen on “China Standard Time” (applause)
Girls are kept out of college,
family structures are medieval
Women worldwide chop their hair in solidarity (applause)
A mother of eight is shackled and chained
A scumbag who burned his wife is sentenced to death
You can’t say Tangshan’s like Gotham City
because at least Gotham’s got a Batman. (massive applause)

(musical interlude)

[…] Counting nine wins means you’re stupid,
Ten wins makes me smart
Think about which things in life
are important, and which aren’t—
A three-year-old died of carbon monoxide poisoning
He had no COVID test, so they wouldn’t let him through
Those three pandemic years were his whole life (applause)
Secretary Liu missed her daughter’s
coming-of-age party, boo hoo hoo
A one-year-old baby never had a COVID test
so they let him choke to death
“Negative or positive” is all some folks can see
but what they need is some humanity
(massive applause, shouts from audience)

(musical interlude)

[…] Red Child’s eighteen wins are all down to
science, technology, and hard work
Thanks for wasting three years “protecting” me
though it still sends a shiver down my spine
Liu Bo, my bosom friend,
I swear I’ll defend you to the death! (applause)
I’ll never forget the fire, or the bus crash
or all that was covered up
Like lone warrior walking into darkness
Hear the birth of these Great Works
Chuckle that we’re lucky to be
born into this Great New Era (applause)
30% is destiny and 70% is down to hard work
Hard work wins out in the end … [Chinese]

Due to online censorship, many initial comments about the song have been deleted from Weibo and other social media platforms. CDT Chinese editors were able to collect some Twitter comments about the song, some of which are translated below:

XiJPDynasty: Its incisive lyrics hit straight at the heart of problems in our society, prompting people to think and reflect, and to examine social phenomena more closely. […]

vivianzheng333: I couldn’t help but feel sad when he sang that part about “Batman.”

straycat_au: This is a bold gambit, risking the second half of your life by “rushing at the ramparts” of power. Respect.

yaoyaoio: The past three years are still as clear as day.

ljbdba: That phrase “Hard work wins out in the end” has some profound meaningbehind it. [It is the title of 1988 Hakka pop song by Taiwanese singer-composer Baitang Chen.]

cuixufeng50: Who trembled when they heard this? Who was moved to tears? Who felt enraged? [Chinese]

Another of the band’s songs, “How Should We Spend Our Lives?” was featured in an October 13, 2021 performance at 46 LiveHouse in Changsha, Hunan province. A portion of the lyrics from that song are translated below:

How should we spend our lives?
Do we sow and reap just for ourselves,
or work ourselves to death for others?
Do we savor life in the moment,
or suffer for the sake of the future?
Do we pass down our achievements to the next generation,
or leave behind a name the world will remember?

No one has the perfect answer
Everyone has the final say
No one gets a do-over
Everyone gets to live their life

How should we spend our lives?
How will you spend your life?
How should we spend our lives? (repeat)
If we had the chance to do it all again,
how would we spend our lives?

***

人的一生應該怎樣度過啊 才算很值得
生命經怎樣的雕琢 才有絢麗的光澤
人的一生應該怎樣度過啊 才算很值得
生命經怎樣的雕琢 才有絢麗的光澤
當我們到來的時候 都不約而同的哭了
當我們離開的那一刻 你還想說什麼
未來也曾讓我們憧憬過 理想也曾讓我們執著
愛情也曾讓我們哭了笑了笑了又哭了
青春似熱血般火熱 年華似水流過
誘惑啊誘惑讓我們 都改變了許多
人的一生應當怎樣度過啊人的一生應當怎樣度過
當我們眷戀的擡起頭 看花開花落
人的一生應當怎樣度過啊人的一生應當怎樣度過
當我們眷戀的回頭望去 昨天已永遠走過
有人為了名譽而拼搏 有人為了地位而爭奪
有人為了權力而焦灼 為了金錢而瘋魔
有人為了別人的臉色 有人為了自己的價格
有人為了掙脫枷鎖 為了自由的自我
當半夢半醒的時刻 那患得患失的你我
當人生潮起又潮落 該何去何從呢
有人背著沈重的道德啊 有人釋放衝動的心魔
有人為了短暫的快樂墮落善惡的糾葛
愛恨像大雨般滂沱 得與失如風吹過
愛別離求不得吹不散 這人間的煙火
人的一生應當怎樣度過啊 人的一生應當怎樣度過
當我們無奈的揮揮手 無可又奈何
人的一生應當怎樣度過啊 人的一生應當怎樣度過
當我們無奈又無所謂 明天又將會如何

***

Source:

The Eighteen Dark Arts of Master Bao

包大人十八黑

耳光樂隊

***

On Bao 包 bāo:

In the song, ‘Master Bao’ refers to Bao Zheng 包拯, a upstanding bureaucrat and judge of the Song dynasty. Zhan Zhao 展昭 (展護衛 in the song) is a general who features in fictional accounts of the exploits of Master Bao. He repeatedly rescues the judge from tight spots.

Bao 包, or 包子 bāozi, also stands for ‘dumpling’ or ‘steamed bun’. It is one of Xi Jinping’s many nicknames.

As a verb, bāo 包 means to encircle, contain, wrap. In Taiwan, ‘Master Bao’ 包大人 is a well-know brand of adult diaper. — Ed.

***

包大人，包老黑，
問問身邊的展護衛。
放眼古今中外內，
普天之下誰最黑。

要說黑還是大人您最黑，
您黑的頭上放光輝。
黑老包搖頭說太慚愧，
今天我帶你看一看十八黑。

要想看十八黑，
你還得陪我睡一回。
嚇得展昭快崩潰，
大人我是男神不是男gay。

展護衛說你別誤會，
遊仙枕上才能穿越回。
夢里如果你追上了我，
我就讓你嘿嘿嘿。
（嘿嘿嘿：費玉清講的黃色笑話）

一黑天，二黑地。
黑完了發展黑空氣，
你別看我黑的很徹底，
黑不過輝煌的京津冀。
（京津冀霧霾嚴重）
王寶強罵那CMND
（王寶強微博粗口罵肇事逃逸者
此處口誤，應該是CNMD）
法庭上上演快播劇，
公訴人被嗆得臉著了地，
樂事薯片我招誰惹誰哩。
（快播王欣案辯護人辯詞受網友熱捧，
樂視被指舉報，網友去樂事薯片官博罵人）

三黑善，四黑惡，
黑完了天災黑人禍。
女孩跳樓爭對錯，
家庭社會都失責。
（甘肅13歲女孩跳樓自殺，
釀成社會群體性事件）
深圳樓房被滑坡，
道歉有沒有效果。
（深圳滑坡事故，市領導鞠躬道歉）
雷小米說我也是醉了，
周鴻禕說別說話吻我。
（雷軍看周鴻禕睡覺照片被惡搞）

五黑左，六黑右，
黑完了胖瘦黑美醜。
借問素質你有沒有，
泡椒鳳爪你太可口。
（上海地鐵女生吃鳳爪惹罵戰）
問君能有幾多愁
恰是XX牽了你的女朋友
（笑場沒唱出來歌詞）
年年到了雙十一時候，
你老婆都能讓馬雲快樂很久。（都懂。）

七黑買，八黑賣，
黑完了輸贏黑成敗。
二胎全面被放開，
張藝謀想說你狗帶。
（二胎政策、張藝謀超生
狗帶：go die諧音，網絡熱詞）
縱觀那五千年以來，
唯獨沒兄弟姐妹的一代。
（苦逼8090後趕上了獨生子女）
開放二胎要是沒人睬，
要不然開放那二房來。
（網友惡搞應開放二房）

九黑明，十黑暗，
黑完了是非黑恩怨。
公交車的縱火犯，
你跟IS一樣的混蛋。
（銀川公交縱火致17人死亡）
國際油價下調我們暫緩，
聽說是為了治理霧霾才這麼幹。
（發改委以治理霧霾宣佈暫緩調整油價）
風不來呀霧霾吹不散，
風太大了會沈船。
（治理霧霾基本靠風吹，
東方之星沈船官方「原因」）

十一呀黑古，十二黑今，
黑完了節操黑良心。
看守所副所長跟犯人心連心，
帶著小姐去監獄里賣淫。
（江西賣淫女看守所與在押犯性交易）
校園暴力事件又頻頻，
到處都有扒光小三的正派軍。
（屢見不鮮的社會新聞）
紅色的預警看到治霾的決心，
活佛的床上看到阿瑪阿張鐵林。
（北京發佈霧霾紅色預警，
張鐵林香港上演坐床鬧劇。）

十三那黑窮，十四黑富，
黑完了秀恩愛黑孤獨。
天後的孩子兩養父，
半壁江山閨女仨老母。
（王菲、汪峰各自混亂的家庭關係）
股票市場滑了千股，
明星們紛紛云中歌伴舞。
（股市千股大跌，花千骨、雲中歌熱播）
百年修得你同床渡，
千年修得你優衣庫。（都懂的）

十五啊黑老，十六黑少，
黑完了偉大你黑渺小。
六十六年握手握了80秒，
這樣啊開車還是慢點好。
（習馬會66年的握手，
郭富城秀恩愛被警察勸誡開車安全）
熔斷啊果然迅速熔斷了，
就像那康熙再也不來了。
（股市熔斷機制被叫停，
《康熙來了》停播。）
證監會就是監督讓你跑不掉，
反正玩那人民幣都是玩幣歸趙。
（小股民被套牢，趙家人從中獲利）

十七黑拎不清，
黑完了精英黑明星。
萬科啊看前面黑（赫音）洞洞，
原來是寶能發來地兵。
（寶能系被指惡意收購萬科股權）
毛誕日傻根他認祖歸宗，
聖誕節樂嘉先生他一蛋一星。
（王寶強毛澤東誕辰發微博，
樂嘉參加節目睪丸受傷。）
尹相傑通知他二進宮，
朝陽區群眾鼓搗毛寧。
（尹相傑和毛寧因為涉毒被抓）

十八黑呀誰有藥，
黑完了廣告黑療效。
歌舞團為啥突然回國了，
難道是因為三胖快射了。
（朝鮮歌舞團在中國演出突然取消）
吃不飽還總是要打炮，
真讓人比那夏洛還煩惱。
（夏洛特煩惱成為票房黑馬）
馮小剛今年演老炮兒，
三胖子你今年老點炮。
（馮小剛主演電影，朝鮮試驗氫彈）

包大人黑完了把頭抬，
展護衛你是否已經笑快（笑cry）
展熊飛插手拜了三拜，
大人啊比起來你果然太白。
包大人輕輕把手擺，
大宋朝咱都是趙家的奴才。
（趙家人特指統治階層）
2016我願做個掏糞男孩（tfboy）
（TFBoy：The Fighting Boys band）

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