Other People’s Thoughts is a section in the Journal of the China Heritage site. It is inspired by a compilation of quotations put together by Simon Leys (Pierre Ryckmans), one of our Ancestors, during his reading life.
Pierre remarked that the resulting modest volume of quotations was ‘idiosyncratically compiled for the amusement of idle readers’ (see Simon Leys, Other People’s Thoughts, 2007). Our aim is similar: to amuse our readers (idle or otherwise); as is our modus operandi: to build up an idiosyncratic compilation, one that reflects the interests of The Wairarapa Academy for New Sinology and its coterie.
In collecting this material, and by adding to it over time, we accord also with a Chinese literary practice in which quotations — sometimes called yǔlù 語錄, literally ‘recorded sayings’ — have a particular history, and a powerful resonance.
The most famous collection of recorded sayings is The Analects 論語, compiled by disciples of Confucius. Then there is the timeless 5000-words of Laozi’s The Tao and the Power 道德經, as well as the Chan/Zen 禪宗 tradition of what in English are known by the Japanese term kōan 公案, dating from the Tang dynasty. Modern imitations range from the political bon mots of Mao Zedong to excerpts from the prolix prose of Xi Jinping’s tireless speech writers, and published snippets from arm-chair philosophers and motivational speakers.
Other People’s Thoughts also finds inspiration in the ‘poetry talks’ 詩話, ‘casual jottings’ 筆記 and ‘marginalia’ 眉批 of China’s literary tradition.
The year 2023 ends with this, the fortieth chapter in Other People’s Thoughts.
— Geremie R. Barmé,
Editor, China Heritage
27 December 2023
***
More Other People’s Thoughts:
- Other People’s Thoughts, China Heritage
Other People’s Thoughts, XL
Brazil (1985)
Terry Gilliam’s Orwellian Christmas nightmare begins with sleigh bells jingling as a child asks her mother how Santa can get in without a chimney. Cue a Swat team bursting through the ceiling to snatch her father, leaving her mother clutching a docket for him as she stands whimpering in the newly demolished front room. Could there be a more meaningful seasonal message than: “Keep the receipt”?
— The 25 best Christmas films – ranked!, The Guardian, 14 December 2023
‘The Holidays’
Sir Humphrey: I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.
Jim Hacker: Are you trying to say “Happy Christmas,” Humphrey?
Sir Humphrey: Yes, Minister.
— Sam Freedman, The Top Ten Books on British Politics, 9 December 2023
The Nativity of Jesus
— ‘Nativity’, from Giulio Aleni’s 1637 Chinese Illustrated Life of Christ @artukdotorg 天主降生出像經解, published in Quanzhou and posted by Craig Clunas, 22 December 2023
Drinking the Future
Water is going to be bigger than ever. #WaterTok — essentially millions of people watching other people add syrups and powders to giant tumblers of water — doesn’t seem to be slowing down. Look for an uptick in water sommeliers, the “premium hydration” category, and wearable hydration sensors. New ways to use waste to make water will pop up, like cacao water from what’s left after the cocoa bean is harvested. Water stewardship will matter more, with consumers looking for food and drinks that require less water to grow or produce like dry-farmed beans, snacks made with nopales and beer from companies that use a pond filtration system.
— Kim Severson, How We’ll Eat in 2024, 26 December 2023
Curb Your Enthusiasm
“As Curb comes to an end, I will now have the opportunity to finally shed this ‘Larry David’ persona and become the person God intended me to be – the thoughtful, kind, caring, considerate human being I was until I got derailed by portraying this malignant character.”
— Larry David, quoted in Vanity Fair, 14 December 2023
Boris Johnson fronts the Covid inquiry
‘The country chose to elect a clown and what it got in return was a farce.’
– Alex Andreou, Oh God, What Now?
‘Folx’
I had to chuckle when I read my colleague Pamela Paul’s excellent column on the Columbia School of Social Work and she quoted a school glossary that uses the term “folx.” Why spell the word with an “x”? Because some apparently believe the letter “s” in “folks” renders the term insufficiently inclusive. I kid you not.
— David French, What the University Presidents Got Right and Wrong About Antisemitic Speech, The New York Times, 10 December 2023
Kissinger
There have been scores of books published on the man over the years, but it is still Seymour Hersh’s 1983 The Price of Power that future biographers will have to top. Hersh gave us the defining portrait of Kissinger as a preening paranoid, tacking between ruthlessness and sycophancy to advance his career. Small in his vanities and shabby in his motives, Kissinger, in Hersh’s hands, is nonetheless Shakespearean because the pettiness gets played out on a world stage, with epic consequences
— Greg Grandin, A People’s Obituary of Henry Kissinger, The Nation, 29 November 2023
Lessons in Democracy: The Republic
大陸一名小粉紅翻牆跑到蔡英文的推特留言：
你口口聲聲說民主好，老子今天特意翻牆罵你，讓你知道知道「民主」有什麼好！？
蔡英文回復：
民主就是台灣民眾不需要翻牆就可以罵我。在我面前你自稱「老子」，我一笑而過，你在你那邊的村長、所長面前自己稱「老子」的話，這結果你比我清楚！
— 自由自在 @ZYZZ337799, 2023年12月22日
Lessons in Democracy: The People’s Republic
中國的民主是人民民主，人民當家作主是中國民主的本質和核心。黨的十八大以來，黨深化對中國民主政治發展規律的認識，提出全過程人民民主重大理念並大力推進，民主價值和理念進一步轉化為科學有效的制度安排和具體現實的民主實踐。全過程人民民主， 實現了過程民主和成果民主、程序自主和實質民主直接民主和間接民主、人民民主和國家意志相統一，是全鏈條、全方位、全覆蓋的民主， 是最廣泛、最真實、最管用的社會主義民主。
Xi Jinping’s Apotheosis
包子登基
十年前，習是十幾個中央小組的組長，目的是攬權，從李總理手中削權，小組長親自治國，過把癮。
現在，會逐漸放權，金融主管給李強，目的只有一個，把責任讓自已手下承擔，他當皇帝、發指令。
過去十年，文革中成長起來的總書記，通過鬥爭獲得了勝利，獲得了快樂，現在，西方不與他鬥，中南海無人敢與他鬥，他的生活沒有了意義，而表演，難以演下去了，沒有一個空間讓他覺得欣慰，快意，該出的書，該有的思想，都出版了，都讓世界知道了，關鍵是落實，如何落實人類命運共同體偉大事業?如何統一台灣，如何實現中華民族的偉大復興？一件比一件更難。
人類的素質，中國人民的素質，都跟不上領袖的思想步伐。
謝幕吧，準備退出歷史舞台吧，硬撐著，像毛魔那樣？人民付出巨大的成本與代價，只是看了一場又一場荒誕的大戲。
毛以為自已演成了神，其實是成了魔。
習呢？
***
習不是放權，而是下放責任
譬如楓橋經驗，就是將問題下壓到底層，
既不通過法律解決，也不允許上訪申訴
哪兒問題哪兒解決不給上級添麻煩
如果底層大面積抗爭就武警解決
下放權力，也是下放惡意的權力
就像毛時代，放任底層群眾鬥爭與廝殺
黨國一體黨政一體，只有一人有權有勢
其他人都是跟班都是囉囉都是粉末
走哪兒表演都像趙本山隨身攜帶橫店
一會兒想當普京
一會兒想做唐宗宋祖
一會兒又表演毛澤東
許多演技與動作卻來自金三
如果當他是趙本山在橫店
經常出現在中央電視台
全國人民就是每天都在過大年
人人盼望除XI也不是虛言
***
黨知道你們不滿
但情緒要保持穩定
黨不允許你公開表示不滿
只是怕引發群起抗爭效應
黨在野的時候知道什麼對國家人民有利
黨在朝時更知道什麼對自己對黨國不利
黨不是傻也不是蠢
幸福的美夢中不願覺醒
— 吳祚來，，2023年12月4日
The Three Confucian Bonds in the Xi Era
新時代三綱
君為臣綱，君不正，臣投他國。
父為子綱，父不慈，子奔他鄉。
夫為妻綱，夫不正，妻可改嫁。
（附加第四綱：
國為民綱，國不正，民起攻之。）
Venal Officials & the Masses
貪官與百姓
吃喝嫖賭，躲著百姓；
貪污受賄，防著百姓；
子女出國，瞞著百姓；
包養情婦，背著百姓；
拆遷截訪，欺壓百姓；
開會講話，威嚇百姓；
上級檢查，騙著百姓；
出了問題，哄著百姓；
上門辦事，刁難百姓；
爭權內鬥，利用百姓；
遇到困難，想起百姓；
其實心裡，沒有百姓；
— 章立凡錄
Being in Charge
管
路也管，橋也管，下水不通他不管；
司也管，法也管，人問冤情他不管；
結婚管，高婚管，買賣人口他不管；
生也管，死也管，無錢治病它不管;
嫖也管，媢也管，二奶三奶它不管；
天也管，地也管，霧霾滿城它不管；
店也管，城也管，街上流浪它不管;
吃也管，喝也管，食品污染它不管：
住也管，建也管，房子爛尾它不管；
非洲管，拉丁管，自己國民他不管！
— 網絡梗
‘If God doesn’t exist then who’s laughing at us?’
making christian music does not mean i can’t suck dick no more. the two are not mutually exclusive. i am allowed to get on my knees for multiple reasons.
@LilNasX, 17:05 • 30/11/23 from Earth
Dear God
Dear God, don’t know if you noticed, but —
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your own image
Still believing that junk is true
Well, I know it ain’t so, and you know
— XTC, 1988
We Didn’t Start the Fire
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn MonroeRosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, “The King and I”, and “The Catcher in the Rye”
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England’s got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana, goodbyeWe didn’t start the fire
It was always burning, since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight itJoseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron
Dien Bien Phu falls, “Rock Around the Clock”Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the SuezWe didn’t start the fire
It was always burning, since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight itLittle Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, “Bridge on the River Kwai”
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomideBuddy Holly, Ben Hur, space monkey, mafia
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go
U2, Syngman Rhee, Payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the CongoWe didn’t start the fire
It was always burning, since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight itHemingway, Eichmann, “Stranger in a Strange Land”
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion
“Lawrence of Arabia”, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex
JFK – blown away, what else do I have to say?We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning, since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight itBirth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan“Wheel of Fortune”, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law
Rock and roller, cola wars, I can’t take it anymoreWe didn’t start the fire
It was always burning, since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on
— Billy Joel, 1989
The Ivy League Flunks Out
Roger Cohen wrote in The Times that Netanyahu let Hamas grow stronger while taking a “‘kick the can down the road’ approach” on a two-state solution. As the Palestinian issue vanished from the global agenda, Palestinian fury grew.
That is no excuse for what Hamas did on Oct. 7, but Oct. 7 is also no excuse for Israel’s relentless bombing in Gaza.
I think this is still America. But I don’t understand why I have to keep making the case on matters that should be self-evident.
Why should I have to make the case that a man who tried to overthrow the government should not be president again?
Why should I have to make the case that we can’t abandon Ukraine to the evil Vladimir Putin?
Why should I have to make the case that a young woman — whose life and future ability to bear children are at risk — should not be getting persecuted about an abortion by a shady Texas attorney general?
Why should I have to make the case that antisemitism is abhorrent?
— Maureen Dowd, 9 December 2023
‘Ten No’ China Youth
十不青年
No donating blood; no donating money; no to marriage; no to having children; no to buying property; no to lottery tickets; no to the stock market; no to buying into investment funds; no to supporting the aged; no to being moved by anything.
不獻血，不捐款，不結婚，不生小孩，不買房，不買彩票，不入股市，不買基金，不扶老人，不感動。
Creativity, but in a Straightjacket
守正創新
這是習時代政治新詞，為什麼不用改革創新？
改革是修正主義，是鄧小平們喜歡用的，要告別，要多用守正創新。
守正，就是守住正道，什麼是正道，社會主義是正道，黨的領導走正道，在正道上，創新，不能改革到修正主義道路上。習已終結改革開放的修正主義路線，是盡量不用改革開放概念的。黨國一體，領袖崇拜，核心在升級為領袖，核心只有權力，而領袖不同，有思想有風範，能夠引領人民進入新時代，並引導人類命運共同體創建新文明模式。
民主模式很亂，一黨專政一個領袖才能強國強兵。
— 吳祚來，2023年12月14日
Xi Jinping’s Political Reform
When ‘We’ Flourished, Under Mongol Rule
我們最闊氣的時代
幼小時候，我知道中國在「盤古氏開闢天地」之後，有三皇五帝，……宋朝，元朝，明朝，「我大清」。到二十歲，又聽說「我們」的成吉思汗征服歐洲，是「我們」最闊氣的時代。到二十五歲，才知道所謂這「我們」最闊氣的時代，其實是蒙古人征服了中國，我們做了奴才。直到今年八月里，因為要查一點故事，翻了三部蒙古史，這才明白蒙古人的征服「斡羅思」，侵入匈奧，還在征服全中國之前，那時的成吉思還不是我們的汗，倒是俄人被奴的資格比我們老，應該他們說「我們的成吉思汗征服中國，是我們最闊氣的時代」的。
— 魯迅，《隨便翻翻》，1934年11月
The Ming Dynasty — from begging bowl to noose
為什麼說中國也是一個聖經現象？
近年來，網上常見一個說法：我就喜歡讀明史，簡潔明快，始於一個討飯碗，終於一根上吊繩。
— 劉軍寧
Grand Master Stroke
“Have you ever used anal beads while playing chess?” Piers Morgan asked Niemann on Monday’s episode of his talk show.
“Your curiosity is a bit concerning, you know, maybe you’re personally interested,” Niemann replied as Morgan persisted in asking about the bizarre idea. “But I can tell you no.”
— Chess scandal: Hans Niemann denies using vibrating beads to cheat, NPR, 26 September 2023
Malaise, Stagnation, Tedium— it’s a vibecession!
‘Vibecession’ combines the words vibe and recession. In economics, a recession is a period of economic decline and contraction. Vibecession refers to a period when the vibes (consumer opinion and outlook) have entered a figurative recession due to negative views of the current or future economy.
美國年輕人已經為現在這個時期起了一個新名字「Vibecession」，即英語單詞vibe（氛圍）和recession（衰退）的結合體，意思是說「衰退的氛圍已經烘托到這裡了」——經濟數據顯示一切正常，但普通的人生活卻並非如此。 在現在這種經濟指數混亂的環境當中，看似好的經濟消息可能會變成壞消息。
Hasan Minaj
At one point in his show, he said the real divide in the country was not between rich and poor, Democratic or Republican, but between “the insane” and “the insufferable.”
— Was a Scandal the Best Thing to Happen to Hasan Minhaj?
Suella Braveman
‘Dolores Umbridge, with less charm and worse blazers.’
哪個呀
Sometimes Black students must be protected not only from words, but words that sound like other words. In 2020, Greg Patton was suspended from teaching a class in communications at the University of Southern California. The reason was that one of his lectures included noting that in Mandarin, a hesitation term is “nèi ge,” which means “that …” and has nothing to do, of course, with the N-word. Several Black students said they felt injured by experiencing this word in the class. …
The contrast in treatment of Jewish and Black students furnishes a teaching moment. In my view, the solution is not to decide whether to penalize all hate speech or to allow all of it regardless of whom it is addressed to. Administrators should certainly decry and penalize not just antisemitism but racism on campuses when it is severe and pervasive and constitutes conduct. However, anyone who has made the mistake of thinking that a healthy Jewish soul must endure ongoing calls for the extermination of Israel might at least consider that a healthy Black soul can endure a sour tweet, a talk by someone who has opposed racial preferences and even the Mandarin expression “nèi ge.”
— John McWorter, Black Students Are Being Trained to Think They Can’t Handle Discomfort, The New York Times, 13 December 2023
A Light Sleeper
Question: I’m having trouble making sense of some of the claims and counterclaims being made about what is, or isn’t, antisemitic speech and behavior. To be honest, it doesn’t help that so many prominent Jews have sharply different takes on the subject.
Answer: Two Jews, three opinions.
That sounds like a stereotype.
It is. It’s also one of the few things that most Jews agree is true of us as people.
OK, so in your opinion and a half, what is antisemitism?
It’s a conspiracy theory that holds that Jews are uniquely prone to use devious means to achieve malevolent ends and must therefore be opposed by any means necessary, including violence.
Is that the commonly accepted definition?
No, it’s my own. A more widely cited definition comes from the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance, which defines antisemitism, in part, as “a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews.” But the phrase “a certain perception” raises more questions than it answers.
Jews have long stood for a set of ideas that, if not radical now, were radical in their time. Among them: monotheism, freedom, general literacy and what Jewish tradition calls “argument for the sake of heaven.”
Monotheism imposes a single ethical standard — such as “thou shalt not kill” — on all people, regardless of their country or culture. It’s the seed of the idea of universal rights. The story of the Book of Exodus has been an inspiration for all freedom-seeking people — “Let my people go!” Literacy, a prerequisite for becoming a Jewish adult, is the basis for the unshackling of the mind. And argument for the sake of heaven — inscribing dialogue and dissent into religious tradition — is central to any democratic society.
No wonder Jews have inspired so much loathing from every ruler, religion or ideology seeking to keep people in servitude and ignorance. Whenever antisemitism rears its head, it isn’t just Jews who are in the cross hairs. It’s freedom, education and human dignity — values all of us should share, whether you’re Jewish or not.
— Antisemitism: A Guide for the Perplexed, The New York Times, 12 December 2023
***
The great Irish thinker and writer Conor Cruise O’Brien once said that “antisemitism is a light sleeper”. Well, it seems to have woken up of late. The horrendous events of October the 7th and the Israeli response, seem to have stirred up this ancient hatred. It’s agonising to see all the violence and destruction that’s unfolding, and the terrible loss of life on both sides brings me an overwhelming sadness and heartache.
— Stephen Fry, The Alternative Christmas Message, 25 December 2023
And then…
In one of the responses to Fry’s video, X user @MannieMighty1 posted a composite image of Fry next to an injured Palestinian child and wrote: “Good afternoon. My name is Stephen Fry, hopefully ‘Sir Stephen’ by next year, and I’m here to tell you about how oppressed I’ve chosen to be. Pay no attention to that malingering scruffy urchin in the next frame. He brought it upon himself…*slurp*…”
Another user wrote: “I’ve worshiped Stephen Fry for my entire adult life. To hear him conflate anti-Zionism with antisemitism has shocked me. To hear him show no care or support for the Palestinians & instead center people in this country has broken me. Smashed windows vs carrying your dead child?”
Yet another said: “We don’t have a problem with Jews, Stephen Fry, we have a problem with genocide & you know it. When it was Jews who were the targets of genocide, this country gave half a million lives fighting the evils of Nazism. Now we fight to protect Palestinians. It’s what we do. Same rules.”
— quoted in Michael Horovitz, Stephen Fry decries antisemitism in Christmas video, is pilloried online, The Times of Israel, 26 December 2023
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out
“Hamas rejects any alternative to the full and complete liberation of Palestine, from the river to the sea,” says the organisation’s 2017 constitution. …The founding charter of Benjamin Netanyahu’s Likud party trolls: “Between the sea and the Jordan there will only be Israeli sovereignty.”
— ‘From the river to the sea’: where does the slogan come from and what does it mean?, The Guardian, 31 October 2023
In the Shadow of the Ghetto
The German Green Party-affiliated Heinrich Böll Foundation, “in agreement with the Bremen Senate,” is withdrawing from awarding the Hannah Arendt Prize for Political Thought to the Russian-American journalist Masha Gessen, citing Gessen’s recent New Yorker essay “In the Shadow of the Holocaust” as the reason for the decision. …
According to an article published in Germany’s Die Zeit newspaper earlier today, the Bremen branch of the German-Israeli Society (DIG) heavily criticized Gessen’s statements on the situation in the Gaza Strip and called for the planned award ceremony to be suspended. An open letter from the Bremen DIG stated that honoring Gessen (a Jewish writer whose grandfather was murdered by the Nazis) “would contradict the necessary decisive action against the growing anti-Semitism.”
The irony of calling for the suspension of a prize named after an anti-Totalitarian political theorist in order to appease the authoritarian government of a rogue state currently committing genocide against an already-subjugated people seems to be lost on the Bremen DIG. …
UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: According to Die Zeit, the presentation of the prize, originally scheduled to take place next Friday in Bremen, will now be presented in a different setting next Saturday, but without the involvement of the Heinrich Böll Foundation (an independent political foundation, affiliated with the German Green Party, which instituted the Hannah Arendt Prize in 1994 and which has sponsored the award every year since).
— Dan Sheehan, Masha Gessen’s Hannah Arendt Prize has been canceled because of their essay on Gaza, Literary Hub, 13 December 2023
If I Must Die
Statecraft
“Ideas are not policies,” Dean Rusk observed while serving as U.S. secretary of state. “Besides, ideas have a high infant-mortality rate.” An even more experienced statesman, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, commented that “hope flies on wings, and international conferences plod afterwards along dusty roads.”
The “how” is the “craft” in statecraft. Most of what the U.S. government does is distribute money and set rules. Relatively few parts of it mount policy operations, especially diplomatic ones. Doing so requires complex teamwork. Officials must master international choreographies, intricacies of law and practice, and a bewildering variety of instruments, cultures, and institutions spanning societies. The ability to do all that is a fading art in the United States and the rest of the free world. As it fades, handwringing and platitudes take its place. Officials paper over the gaps with meetings and pronouncements.
— Philip Zelikow, The Atrophy of American Statecraft, Foreign Affairs, January/February 2024, published on 12 December 2023
Vale Andre Braugher
Good lord, did Andre Braugher have a voice.
That voice was rich and resonant. It was a luxury sports car, capable of lulling you with its leathery comfort, then executing thrilling white-knuckle twists. He could convey the turning of a character’s thoughts with every syllable. When he spoke, you could hear the vibration of his brain waves. You could feel it in your bones.
— James Poniewozik, Andre Braugher Let You Hear Him Think, The New York Times, 13 December 2023
Gurgle
What is that we hear, from deep within the digital ocean? Is it the protracted bubbling whinge of superheroes in their death agonies? Are we witnessing a Götterdämmerung of the superhero movie, as a bunch of B- to A-listers, dressed sheepishly in their tattered spandex, crouch on the green screen sound stage, furtively making calls to their agents between takes and wondering if they shouldn’t have held out against superhero films, like Julia Roberts and Leonardo DiCaprio? …
The Aquaman franchise is just flatlining, floating through the dreary depths like the kind of discarded plastic bag which is going to choke the last remaining vaquita porpoise.
— Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom review – terrible Jason Momoa sequel pollutes the DC ocean, 21 December 2023
Wanker
… the prequel about the famous chocolatier is boring old normal bad. At best it’s totally fine in the most average way possible. How much you’ll think it’s the former versus the latter comes down to one question: how much do you like whimsy? Because Wonka tries—and fails—to get by on whimsy and little else.
— Michael Walsh, Nerdest, 13 December 2023
‘Spilling Tea’
You can be forgiven for pretty much anything in America if you generate entertaining enough content. You can lie, you can cheat, you can commit all manner of sins – but if you draw eyeballs and generate headlines you will probably be forgiven. You might even become president! And you certainly won’t go broke. The talkshow appearances, the book deals, the invitations to Dancing on the Stars will come. …
The former congressman, in case you’re interested, made it very clear that he did not support a ceasefire in Gaza, where more than 20,000 people have died. What a strange world we live in, where calling for a ceasefire can get you cancelled faster than using campaign money on shopping sprees and lying your way into Congress.
— Arwa Mahdawi, Are we laughing at George Santos or is he laughing at us?, 22 December 2023
The Stalker
Jenna Maroney: Hello, Maynard.
Maynard: Jenna. You shouldn’t have come here.
Jenna Maroney: Well, what was I supposed to do? It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I haven’t heard anything from you. Has the dog who gives you your orders died?
Maynard: No, Brandon’s fine. Jenna, we need to talk. I don’t think I can stalk you anymore.
Jenna Maroney: No, you don’t mean that.
Maynard: Look, I have a new therapist. I’m taking my meds. I can’t even see electricity shooting out of your head anymore.
Jenna Maroney: Well, is there someone else? It’s one of those kids from “Glee,” isn’t it?
Maynard: Jenna, please don’t make a scene.
Jenna Maroney: I always knew this would end someday. I just thought it would be with me in the trunk of a rental car.
— Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock
New Words for a New Era
新社會，新詞語
下降不叫下降，叫負增長，
窮人不叫窮人，叫待富人群，
窮人不叫窮人，叫價格敏感型人群，
失業不叫失業，叫慢就業，
中暑不叫中暑，叫熱射病，
死亡不叫死亡，叫無生命特徵，
啃老不叫啃老，叫全職子女……
***
官話、空話、套話、大話
會議沒有不隆重的；閉幕沒有不勝利的；講話沒有不重要的；鼓掌沒有不熱烈的；完成沒有不圓滿的；成就沒有不巨大的；工作沒有不扎實的；效率沒有不品著的；決策沒有不英明的；路線沒有不正確的；形勢沒有不大好的；擁護沒有不一致的；旗幟沒有不高舉的；思想沒有不統一的；前途沒有不光明的。
Dear Mr. Burgess
Herr Wenner has forwarded your useless letter from Rome to the National Affairs Desk for my examination and/or reply.
Unfortunately, we have no International Gibberish Desk, or it would have ended up there.
What kind of lame, half-mad bullshit are you trying to sneak over on us? When Rolling Stone asks for “a thinkpiece”, goddamnit, we want a fucking Thinkpiece… and don’t try to weasel out with any of your limey bullshit about a “50,000 word novella about the condition humaine, etc…”
Do you take us for a gang of brainless lizards? Rich hoodlums? Dilettante thugs?
You lazy cocksucker. I want that Thinkpiece on my desk by Labor Day. And I want it ready for press. The time has come & gone when cheapjack scum like you can get away with the kind of scams you got rich from in the past.
Get your worthless ass out of the piazza and back to the typewriter. Your type is a dime a dozen around here, Burgess, and I’m fucked if I’m going to stand for it any longer.
Sincerely …
— Hunter S. Thompson to Anthony Burgess for Rolling Stone, 1973